September 9, 1879 - John Miller compared to “Bottom”

TO THE EDITOR OF THE AH ROW OBSERVER.

Sir.—The columns of the ‘Cromwell Argus’ closed abruptly against, the continuation of the wordy war between Mr J. A. Miller and myself; he having, like the true old woman, the “last word” —which I many consider a fitting conclusion to the correspondence. The warlike editor of that paper suggests a course which might end our difficulty; but then, the consequences from such an opponent! The game is hardly worth the candle. Mr Miller only attempted to controvert my statements by a reiteration of falsehoods. One can guard himself against a thief, but against a perverter of the truth—never!

There is one statement of his, however, which I cannot allow to pass. He states that I said, “The weekly returns from the Morven Perry Punt were £l6, and I was prepared to prove it by my oath.” What I did say was this, “According to the book submitted to me the takings amounted for the past seven weeks to £l6 per week, and the man who kept the accounts could prove the same on oath.” Further, he writes that the County Chairman discovered, on taking over the Ferry, that the takings were only £6 per week- This might well be, as after Mr.Owens agreed with the County Council about the punt, he worked it for a month at reduced fares as follows:

Horses (previously charged 2s) reduced to 6d.

Loading ([previously charged] 2s per ton) [reduced to] 1s.

Coach ([previously charged] 18s per week) [reduced to] Free

Foot-passengers ([previously charged]  6d each [reduced to] Free

If Mr Miller will take the trouble to calculate the above, he will find that the weekly receipts for that month must have been less than one-third of the preceding ones, and it was upon those receipts that the County Chairman based his report. Mr Miller says this report appeared in print; but I did not see it, nor do I believe he did. Mr Miller is a great discoverer of “mare’s nests”; he can add this one to his already long list.

Mr Miller, by his general behaviour, irresistibly reminds me of “Bottom” in Shakspeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream when the fairy “Puck” adorns him with an ass’s head, to the great surprise of his companions- on- witnessing the metamorphosis:

ACT III Scene I.

Snout —O Bottom! thou art changed! what do I see on thee?

Quince— Bless thee, Bottom! bless thee! thou art translated.

Bottom—l see their knavery : this is to make an ass of me, to fright me, if they could. But I will not stir from this place, do what they can: I will walk up and down hero, and I will sing, that they shall hear I am not afraid.

If this is not, a correct picture of our worthy librarian, I am no true artist.

There is a strange superstition in some parts of the world that I have read of it is. “If children afflicted with whooping cough are allowed to kiss the back of an ass they will straightway be healed.” Now, if ever this superstition and the disease should go hand-in-hand through Arrowtown, our friend Mr Miller, alias “Bottom,” would have a golden opportunity of receiving many a chaste salute.

As the candidates say, “With these few remarks, gentlemen, I conclude.”

Geo. B. Douglas. Arrowtown, September 9th.”

Source: LAKE COUNTY PRESS, VOLUME VIII, ISSUE 435, 11 SEPTEMBER 1879, PAGE 3 (https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/LCP18790911.2.13.4)